User talk:MadGirl42
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Jackie The Ghost page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! LOLSKELETONS (talk) 07:51, October 16, 2014 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 11:51, October 16, 2014 (UTC) Story. Since you read the quality standards then I'm sure you see the issues I found with your story. Let's start off with the coding issues. When you write a story in visual editor, you get these coding issues through-out your story. Use source mode. There were typos, ("Ivy set down her book and looked hi (sic) in the eye with her icy blue eye(eyes), which contrasted her brown hair.", punctuation (commas used improperly and lacking where needed " John yelled to the others(,) “I found something!” ...", "Her friends sat there motionless while the Skeleton (Should not be capitalized) screamed at Ivy(,) “I HATE children!”..." (Hate would be more effective in italics as the skeleton is already screaming. Did he scream the word hate louder than the rest or did you mean to use the caps as emphasis?, etc.), and capitalization issues. (At times you choose to capitalize the word "owner" and "skeleton" and other times you don't. They shouldn't be capitalized unless they are a title. Also why capitalize "Windowsill"? "John sat down on the Windowsill...") Additionally dialogue should start new lines and each new speaker should have their own line. Then there are the issues with the plot. The whole 'let's visit a spooky abandoned amusement park' is cliched and done without reason (other than a means of progressing the plot). They give no reason for why they want to visit the park, to explore, to investigate? Then there's the reason for its abandonment, “The owner of this place died in a heart attack, they buried him here because they couldn’t afford to bury him in a grave, and a kid found his body. They say after that kid saw his body poking slightly out of the dirt, the little brat told too many people and nobody would come anymore.” First off, the concept of a body being buried in an amusement park is absurd and it being half-buried is even more ridiculous. How do the kids come across it so easily and why is it now unburied and in the open? The story doesn't make much sense and really isn't involving in any way. Combine that with the coding, punctuation, capitalization, and typos, and you get a story wasn't up to par. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:14, October 19, 2014 (UTC) :You have to do a deletion appeal and I would recommend getting more in-depth assistance at the Writer's workshop and posting the link on the appeal to show you're working on improving the quality. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:28, October 20, 2014 (UTC)